The same applies to monetary issues. Many couples put all the money into a common pot and then together decide what to spend them on.
But, like the absence of a personal residence, no personal money, and deprives people of a sense of freedom and independence.
Therefore, everyone should have your wallet and the opportunity to spend a certain amount without making any representation about where, when and what.
Often considered normal that a woman generally does not earn money, or earns enough to provide your own life. It would seem, nothing terrible, if a man is willing to take care of her. But on a psychological level, this situation causes a lot of problems.
The man deep down feels the benefactor and believes that the woman he now have something for his kindness. And the woman, though, and can afford to live comfortably, gets in a powerful addiction and loses all its inner freedom — now it is tied to the existing family relations and has no ability to leave at will, if the situation so requires.
While family relations are all well, this seems to be normal. But as soon as family relationships come to a standstill, the woman is in the trap itself was built. And the man also has a difficult position to oust a man on the street with nothing is pretty hard.
It is therefore very desirable that both the man and woman had their own independent income sufficient so that at any moment it was possible to disperse in the parties and to live independently.
This, not to mention the fact that their own earnings allow us not to report and, from time to time, to make each other pleasant and unexpected gifts.
Personal space in all respects should be respected and cherished as his own. Someone to comfort need more freedom, some less, and this must be calculated independently.
Stop cling to each other and everywhere to walk, holding a pen. Even if you soul in each other is not prepared, do not forget that not all life is reduced to family relationships that the soul sometimes requires solitude, and separate that entertainment is not a betrayal to your loved one.
Learn to live separately, even if you live on a very tight site. Not necessarily every time to eat dinner together, no need to stay glued in front of the TV, not necessarily together to host. Try, finally, to go on vacation alone, and then come back and share your experiences.
Only complete mental, financial and economic independence can make family relationships really strong. Fight for your independence and defend your freedom and appreciate freedom of another person. Don’t be afraid to lose, otherwise, will lose.
Talk to each other in family relationships
Another rule is as important and fundamental as the ability to keep my distance — learn with each other to talk. You do not say, not to gossip, not to discuss things at work or watched a movie, and talk about what’s really important — about themselves, about their emotions, about family relationships and what happens between you.
Neither men nor women, usually, do not know how. If in a pair and it comes to experiences, it quickly rolls down to mutual accusations and focus on who is right and who is wrong. It’s all wrong.
Family relationships is a complex process. If to rely only on intuitive mutual understanding, far away will not work.
Be sure all speak out loud — why do you have these family relationships, what do you like and what worries, wherever you go in this life, how they see their future.
Soul, of course, be turned inside out is not necessary. But all that concerns family relations with another person, must be expressed.
No need to hold grudges, no need to swallow the annoyance, no need to silently abandon their desires — talk about it. There is only one condition remember that loved one you are not the enemy, he owes you nothing and that you want to save it.
So, the only tools that you have, requests, compromises and agreements.
So, when you talk about the fact that something offended you, don’t hang guilt on the other person, the offence arises only by your efforts.
Just tell that those words hurt you because of that, and because of that, and ask them not to poke you in a sore spot. Do not ask, do not mask under the request of the order, namely ask. And if you haven’t brought the relationship to the point close people will understand and not refuse.
Resentment, anxiety, fears, jealousy, anger — all of what people usually hide, you need to get to the surface, and the sooner the better. At first this is difficult because the accumulated emotions will show through in the words and will not allow you to talk calmly, without insults and accusations. But this too should pass, and then continue.
A man and a woman who seriously and honestly to negotiate the best psychologists for each other. All this abstruse psychology of family relations is absolutely not necessary, if with a loved one can openly talk about and clarify what is happening.
What do you want what I want, than you live what I live, what do you expect from me, what I expect from you — basic questions that will dismiss a half of all problems and usual problems. You only need to have the courage to start to talk about it.
So, sit down and talk. Can specifically assign a couple of hours, when you’re talking about your family relationships openly and will do my best to respond in an adult way, no offense, soberly and quietly.
And if this talk doesn’t get hidden desire to hurt or to manipulirovat each other, they will quickly help you to solve many long-standing problems — General and his personal.
You may not immediately get to the bottom of what is happening between you, but one fact that you however want to understand and make the efforts will make your family relationships stronger than ever.
Don’t turn these conversations into compliance perspective, but do not pull the time, if the soul grow restless.
The earlier you talk about your anxieties, the easier it will get. Observe yourself and each other — remember that caregiving is not only its physical but also of mental well-being. Learn to be with each other strong, Mature and honest.
The main parting words for the men in family relationships
Never, under any circumstances — no matter how hard you may be, do not allow yourself to look for pity and consolation from their women.
As much as didn’t want that, as it is not pulled to fail in a warm feminine embrace and dive into the ocean of female warmth — don’t do it.
With all his emotional experiences a man should handle himself. As soon as a man begins to complain of a woman’s life once he turns to her for understanding and comfort, she immediately feels not understood.
And if she’s such a man does not give the heave, then she soon sit him on the neck and will them to drive in their women’s pleasure.
You can discuss business, share experiences and counsel with the woman, but God forbid you start to seek solace.
Even if the woman, in her naivety, she wants you to regret, this cannot be allowed to continue — “Thanks, honey, for your support, but now I have to deal with his problems himself.”
Bite the bullet, but sivite once and for always the habit of seeing in the woman the mother, who will listen, understand, regret and guided to the right path.
Sensing the woman so you lock yourself in the development of their masculinity and return to the child’s condition and family relationships make a dead end